Alan D. Blotcky, PhD

Adversarial child custody battles are fertile ground for the lodging of false allegations of abuse. All too often, 1 parent will make a false allegation of abuse against the other parent as a way of gaining leverage in a court proceeding. In fact, it is an intentional and purposeful attempt by the accusing parent to throw the other parent under the bus and thereby gain all power in their custody dispute. As such, false allegations of abuse are a weapon of destruction in a family.

False allegations of abuse become more disruptive and weaponized if they turn into criminal charges. They then become a sinister plan by the accusing parent to totally sever the child’s relationship with the “dangerous” parent by sending that parent to prison. That is the extent to which some parents will go to extricate themselves from an ex-spouse or ex-partner. But they do not understand or care that they are causing great harm to their children by removing 1 of their parents under false pretense.

False allegations of abuse can be difficult to uncover, expose, and prove. There is a natural tendency for attorneys, judges, mediators, mental health professionals, and laypeople to believe a parent’s or a child’s allegations. After all, why would a parent or a child lie? Why would a story of abuse be fabricated? The answer is clear: Because a false allegation of abuse can sabotage the other parent’s position in the legal proceeding. The weaponization of false allegations can be successful. Sometimes, the false allegations win out and the targeted parent suffers the catastrophic repercussions.

The best way to fight a false allegation of abuse is through documentation and the development of a detailed timeline. A timeline can show the sequence of events and behaviors that demonstrate the high likelihood that an allegation of abuse is false. When—and under what circumstance—an allegation is made can expose its falseness. Multiple allegations during a custody proceeding is a huge red flag for fabrication. In essence, the timing and sequence of events can explain the emergence of a false allegation of abuse.

False allegations of abuse often appear in parental alienation cases. They are 1 of the tactics or strategies used by an alienating parent. I have been involved in hundreds of parental alienation cases, and a high percentage of them have included false allegations of abuse as a weaponized maneuver by the alienating parent. Many times, false allegations and parental alienation go hand in hand.

The weaponization of false allegations cannot be condoned and thus empowered. It is one of the biggest mistakes made in child custody cases. If condoned, incorrect and harmful custody decisions can result in court. Custody of a child can be incorrectly awarded to a parent who has fabricated allegations in a conniving and pernicious way. Such a parent is not a healthy custodial figure. This can have disastrous consequences for the child, both in the short-term and long-term.

“Teddy” is a 12-year-old boy whose parents, “Mike” and “Mary,” went through a hotly contested divorce. Mike and Mary had been married for 16 years before their marriage fell apart due to financial pressures and Mike’s extramarital affair. During the divorce proceeding, Mary accused Mike of physically abusing Teddy. Shortly thereafter, Mary was given temporary custody of Teddy because Mike was perceived as abusive.

Initially, Mary’s attorney, the guardian ad litem, the judge, and the mediator believed that Mike was an abusive parent. Mike was ordered to have supervised visits with Teddy in a public setting. He was also ordered to have anger management classes, a psychological evaluation, and random drug screens for 6 months.

A timeline of events showed that Mary’s allegation against Mike was lodged 6 days after Mike filed for primary custody of his son. Over their long marriage, Mike had never shown a hint of being aggressive or assaultive. Mike’s psychological evaluation came back normal. He voluntarily took a polygraph exam, which showed truthfulness with no deception.

As a mental health expert who was retained by Mike, I presented this timeline as part of my court testimony. I was convinced that the allegation of abuse against him was false.

Ultimately, after many months of acrimony and continuances, Mike was awarded joint physical custody of Teddy. The falseness of Mary’s allegation was believed and accepted. She was trying to gain leverage in the custody battle by portraying her estranged husband as dangerous and unworthy of custodial time.

Not all cases of false allegations of abuse end successfully. Many times, the false allegations remain potent because they cannot be dispelled completely. In other words, the allegations remain weaponized.

False allegations of abuse must not be tolerated in custody proceedings. Such allegations would stop if the accusing parent faced swift and firm negative consequences for their destructive ploy, such as loss of custody, loss of parenting time, a large fine, or others.

All allegations of abuse must be taken seriously. But during divorce proceedings involving child custody matters, false allegations of abuse can be a major damaging ploy by one parent. They can twist a case into a knot that cannot be easily untied. Yet, a knowledgeable and experienced mental health expert is in a unique position to uncover and expose the falseness of an allegation of abuse.

If believed or left to gain steam, a false allegation of abuse can defeat a parent and set the stage for psychological damage in the child. Falseness must always be combated. The truth must prevail if the child’s ultimate wellbeing is a top priority.

is a clinical and forensic psychologist in private practice in Birmingham, Alabama. He is also clinical associate professor in the department of psychology at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Dr Blotcky can be reached at alanblotcky@att.net.

This article originally appeared on Psychiatric Times®. 

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Based on current research, over 22 million adults have been targets of parental alienation in the United States. An estimated 10 million adults have experienced what they perceive to be severe alienation from their children.

 Even so, the clinical problem of parental alienation has been underreported and underappreciated in the public at large. It is a silent epidemic that must be acknowledged.

Parental alienation is a pathological phenomenon

 in which a child is convinced by one parent that his or her other parent is unworthy and dangerous and should be rejected.

 The child is convinced through a variety of tactics and maneuvers by the alienating/offending parent. If these maneuvers are successful, the child develops the mental condition of parental alienation. This 

alienation can be mild, moderate, or severe in intensity.

 In severe cases, the relationship with the rejected/targeted parent is completely severed due to the child’s mental condition. Even in mild and moderate alienation, there is damaging disruption in the parent-child relationship.

The rejection of a parent due to parental alienation is a devastating and tragic event for the child. Research clearly shows that children need both of their parents to be actively involved in their lives. The rejection of a parent is associated with many long-term, negative consequences for the child. Depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem, lack of trust in relationships, and self-defeating behavior are just some of the deleterious consequences.

Causing parental alienation in a child is on par with physical and sexual abuse. It is 

considered child psychological abuse and is subsumed in DSM-5 (V995.51).

 Parental alienation is real, definable, and toxic. In severe cases, it is so malignant that it can undermine a child’s psychological development. It is not hyperbole to say it can be catastrophic.

A case of parental alienation needs to be investigated rigorously by the state’s protection agency, similar to what is done in cases of suspected physical or sexual abuse. To do otherwise is to miss the central point—that causing parental alienation is as toxic and damaging as these other forms of abuse.

Cases of parental alienation must be taken seriously by all professionals involved with the family. For example, 

attorneys are in a unique position to make a major difference in diagnosis and treatment

Attorneys for alienating parents must forcefully communicate to their clients that their alienating behavior is toxic and must stop immediately. Zealous representation of a client is not applicable in these alienation cases. In fact, confrontation of the alienating parent must be a top priority for the attorney, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it may be. Short of that, attorneys will be condoning and enabling the alienation of the child.

Attorneys for alienated children—guardians ad litem—must take active steps to make sure the alienating parents stop their behavior while also assuring that the children get therapy to reverse their alienation.

Attorneys for the rejected or targeted parents must assure that reunification therapy is pursued with diligence and positive expectation so that the child’s alienation is corrected as quickly as possible.

In cases of physical and sexual abuse, the child is removed from the offending parent. That decision is not controversial. Similarly, a child who totally rejects the targeted parent due to parental alienation must be removed from the offending parent, at least temporarily. The removal of a child has been shown to be warranted and effective. In other words, removal of the child is the best option available.

Other professionals involved in a case of parental alienation—such as mediators, counselors, pediatricians, family physicians, teachers, social workers, and others—must play an attentive and corrective role in the process. Allowing alienation to continue unchecked is highly destructive to the child.

One final note: Mild parental alienation is much easier to correct than moderate or severe alienation. This principle must be kept in mind by all professionals who have contact with the child and the parents.

Parental alienation is a psychiatric emergency and interventions should be put in place as quickly as possible because it is as toxic and pernicious as physical and sexual abuse.

This article was originally published by sister publication Psychiatric Times.

1. Harman JJ, Leder-Elder S, Biringen Z. Prevalence of adults who are the targets of parental alienating behaviors and their impact

2. Blotcky AD. Parental alienation unlocked. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parental-alienation-unlocked/202105/how-recognize-parental-alienation

3. Are there different degrees of parental alienation? 

https://psychlaw.net/are-there-different-degrees-of-parental-alienation/

4. Bensussan P. [Parental alienation, child psychological abuse and DSM-5]. 

5. Blotcky AD. Winning parental alienation cases: a roadmap for family lawyers. 

https://familylawyermagazine.com/articles/winning-parental-alienation-cases/

Parental alienation is devastating and toxic for the child.

Alan D. Blotcky, PhD

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